“She has beautiful eyes.”

Those words came out from a married bloke’s mouth when he first saw his first baby girl’s eyes. They were all black and deep. The baby then closed her eyes when she cried, sometimes she blinked while her little mouth opened. Looked innocent and stunning, he thought, she would become a beautiful young lass someday.

As the time flew by, the baby grew up to a little girl. A fun girl to play with. Laughed with her friends and her family, loved by her schoolmates, but she seemed could not manage to interact well with the other friends. She was way too kind and friendly that her schoolmates liked to tease her.. or even made fun of her. Was it because of the eyes that the girl had? Too innocent to play with.

When she stepped in the 3rd grade, she was almost totally bullied, especially by a 1st-ranked student that sit next to her. Pity for her.

With the beautiful black eyes she had, she finally finished her primary school, with feeling no burden with her sight when she had to deal with reading, watching, seeing, and writing. The world seemed so beautiful and bright.

But everything changed when she first entered Junior High School.

At the Optician
“Can you read those letters by your left eye?” asked the optician.
“H V I O P .. U… W .. Q.. S… ah, getting smaller!” she said.
Then the man examined the girl’s right eye.
“And for this time? What can you read?” asked the optician once again.
Silent before them.
Seconds later, she broke the silence.
“I cannot read anything.”
The man added some lenses, thinking the girl’s myopia was higher than the left eye, “How about this time?”
The girl replied plainly and innocently,
“I cannot see a thing.”

The whole room remained silent. Some worried. Some stunned. Some surprised. But the girl stayed the same: plain and astonished. “What’s wrong?”

Most young children will feel their vision to be ‘normal’ as they have never known anything else but their own visual world. At first they assume that everyone else has vision the same as their own. They do not realise that other people see things differently.

When finally the young lass realized what had happened, what EXACTLY happened to her, she started crying all over again day to day for years, blaming God, why was she half-blinded? Toxoplasmosis bacteria infected her.

She got her both retina pictured. The right one was 80% scarred from the central. The left one was 20% scarred from the side.

Toxoplasma can affect one or both eyes. If the central bit of the retina in both eyes is scarred then the child will have blurred vision with the central part missing. The vision around the sides will still be OK.

Many curing methods she had but nothing could heal the scar. A doctor said no operation could be done for this case. She cried. And so her parents. She swallowed 7 kinds of tablets to kill remaining bacteria, did regular check-up with her blood taken at an old hospital. But not to heal the scar.

Then she tried many alternative curing methods to heal the scarred retina. Negative.
But why? Why did God want this happen? When He actually gave her an amazing talent at designing.
She cried out loud. She blamed herself. Blame doctors. Blame everyone. Blame everything. Hate herself.

6 years passed
A lot of people advised her that there would be something with her half-blinded eyes. Something great. Something surpising. Something out of your thinking. She did not know what it was and what it is. And perhaps, she did not want to know more about it. She only knew that she enjoyed her life so much with her half-blinded eye, with some trouble with her hearing and easy to lose her concentration. She knew the world was fair. And she got the beauty every girl would struggle for.

And I am so grateful, that the girl is actually me.

Plugs: Jess •

There are many things covered, well, humans can’t understand the way God chooses our way ^^. Enjoy things around us for now is the best way to spend our life, for sure there will be something great happen to u dear ^^.

And yeah, I agree that u have an amaxing talent at designing, but nothing to blame, just enjoy your life, respect it, coz everyone has their own flaws

Much love,
Jess
July 16, 2008 at 11:12 am